Another Year…

So I just had another birthday… I am now 38… which means it is coming up on 3 years since Mark died.  That does not even seem possible.  It feels like if he walked in the door we could pick up right where we left off.  But I know that isn’t true.  Because as much as I didn’t want it to, everything has changed since that day in November 2013.  My kids are growing up… they are such different people than they were 3 years ago.  I often wonder what Mark would think about the kids.  If he’d be surprised by the things they like, the people they have become.  It’s an interesting perspective to think about them being frozen in time for Mark at ages 3, 5 and 7.  I wonder how they would be the same or different if Mark was here.  I think about all they have lost and all they could have gained with their dad here raising them with me.  It’s definitely not the life I planned, but I think he would be so proud of them.  They are kind and giving (most of the time 😉 ) and look out for each other and me.  The other day I was sick, got whatever the kids had been spreading around.  And E told me to go rest, that she would help get the boys in bed.  She was so sweet and it meant so much to me.  So maybe our family isn’t typical.  Maybe it isn’t the one I envisioned for our future.  But it’s a pretty darn good one and I love us.  Guess it’s onto the next year for our family, and right now, I’m excited to see what the future will bring…

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